We’re so deluded we want to believe. Quite badly.

August 12, 2008

Not one story this time, but two.
The first story is from Wales. And it’s almost unbelievable. The boys in blue were called by an un-named (I wonder why?) person who reported a “bright stationary object” was hovering above their home. I should point out that this information was released by the police to show people what constitutes a waste of police time. A typical excerpt is as follows:
Control Room: “South Wales Police, what’s your emergency?”
Caller: “It’s not really. I just need to inform you that across the mountain there’s a bright stationary object.”
Control room: “Right.”
Caller: “If you’ve got a couple of minutes perhaps you could find out what it is? It’s been there at least half an hour and it’s still there.”
So the dispatcher sent a couple of the squad’s finest to investigate.
The mystery was solved, as soon as the police arrived.
Here’s a later transcript of the exchange between the controller and an officer at the scene:
Control: “Alpha Zulu 20, this object in the sky, did anyone have a look at it?”
Officer: “Yes, it’s the moon. Over.”

The truth that was out there. And still is.

The truth that was out there. And still is.

And that, sadly, is the sort of idiot that will call the police because they’ve had one or two. Or three, or four (dozen).
So, because of the almost unbridled stupidity of some of the people we share oxygen with the police in Wales now answer their 999 calls by asking: “South Wales Police. What is your emergency?” rather than just asking how they can help you. Read the whole sadly true story here.
Which is something that I doubt would have saved the boys in blue in Scotland much time. They received more than a dozen calls to report UFOs in the sky. It appears that the calls were all made on a Saturday night. Anyone like to guess how many of them had been drinking? The story doesn’t make it clear, but either they were pissed, or they need rounding up and locking up.
The police were quoted as saying: “We’ve had call, after call, after call, saying it’s UFOs.”
Turns out that it was actually people playing some sort of game, who were releasing helium balloons with candles attached to them. Apparently they people were making a wish and releasing the balloons into the sky. I hope that they were wishing: “Please don’t let deluded people think that this is actually a UFO.”

Congratulations. You\'re a muppet.

Congratulations. You're a muppet.

Read more from the BBC about the whole story here.

I know that I’ll probably annoy a few people with this, but do you really think that an alien life form that has the intelligence to travel across hundreds of millions of light-years is going to arrive on our planet and choose Grangemouth in Stirlingshire? On a Saturday night? No, me either.
The trouble is that people want to believe. Try believing in yourself and getting out there and creating your own exciting life. Or, alternatively, scan the skies, just in case. Trust me, if they do turn up, you’ll not miss it. I’ll even promise to let you know here.

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