People will buy almost anything you tell them. And here’s the proof.

December 12, 2009

It is (honestly) a rope-less skipping rope. Brilliant. What’s next? The racket-less tennis match? Actually, I might patent that one.
Alternatively, you could just try using a piece of rope, at a fraction of the cost, and learn the massively complex task of jumping over the rope. Although the product came about because apparently some people have trouble jumping over a rope.
Here are what I’d describe as ‘handles’ rather than a skipping rope (or ‘jumping rope’ in US parlance).

Two handles (not fork handles)

In fact, that mention of two handles has reminded me of a piece of genius from the Two Ronnies. Watch one of their all-time great sketches here.

It’s the quotes on the site I love: “I went from a size 12 to a size 8.” OK then, Mr. Smarty Pants website, produce this person. Oh, what’s that? You can’t? I’m not surprised, as they’re clearly a figment of your imagination.
Some people reckon the whole thing is a spoof, but sadly it’s not. I’ve been to their website and gone as far as ordering a set (obviously I stopped short of paying for them, I’m not mental). I had a nosey around and found this sensational section aimed at fitness instructors. It begins with these words:
“I’m so excited and proud to be your peer liaison to one of the most effective new calorie burning fitness products on the market.” As if you needed any further proof, the phrase “peer liaison” confirms that it’s an American site.
I love the quote on the home page: “I feel like a kid again.” Why’s that? Gullible and in need of a grown-up to help you make decisions?
The Real Stories section is brilliant. Every target market segment is laid out before you (unintentionally), and some of the puns in the headlines are special. Very special. Get ready to chortle. I also love the naturalistic language used in them all. Many of the ‘different’ writers seem to like using exclamation marks and leader dots. Curious.
Still, if people are stupid enough to believe it, then they deserve to be ripped off.
Watch their whole superb video here.
Check out the room full of people all jumping without ropes at about 1 min 10 secs in.
It’s so surreal it’s like a sketch from Big Train. Kind of like this one.

My ‘Invisible Hurdle Track (Olympic Deluxe Edition)’ is available now for only £149.99. As is my ‘Imaginary High Jump’ – now with free ‘Imaginary Triple Jump’ as a special bonus, just for Christmas.
Weak-minded fools are especially welcome.


One Response to “People will buy almost anything you tell them. And here’s the proof.”

  1. Richard Says:

    I used to jump rope, have a nice Gold’s Gym one. I kept trying to find an all weather spot so I could regularly use the thing.

    After a succession of tiny NYC apartments, I finally realised – just jump up and down. Oy.

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