## Never, ever give more than 100%

### April 25, 2014

This comes from two maths teachers with a combined total of 70 years’ experience.

It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me laugh out loud.

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint.

What makes 100%?

What does it mean to give more than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We’ve all been to meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? Or 107%?

What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions.

If

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

but

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

and

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

being a company man

B-O-X-T-I-C-K-E-R

2+15+24+20+9+3+11+5+18=107%

or a yes man.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

However, to really get ahead, do whatever they tell you, no matter how illogical it is

J-O-B-S-W-O-R-T-H

10+15+2+19+23+15+18+20+8=130%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it’s the bullshit, being a company man, ass-kissing and blind devotion that will put you over the top.

Now we know why some people are where they are today.

I rest my case.

## Why the teacher is still the smartest person in the classroom

### April 25, 2014

A maths teacher in Belgium was frustrated that his class weren’t paying attention.
He’d tried all the usual threats – extra homework and detention – but the class was still not paying attention.
So he had what I think is a superb idea.
He realised that the pupils were all huge fans of the TV series Game of Thrones.
And, as the teacher had read all of George R.R. Martin’s books, he threatened to reveal the names of all those who died in the forthcoming series.

He told then he’d reveal spoilers that would ruin the series for them.
To prove it he wrote a list of all the characters killed in the previous series.
He also told them that there were enough killings to make his threat last for the whole school year.
Teacher 1 Schoolkids 0.
Genius.